After 19 years, only two weeks remain

12:38 am and I'm pulling up to the parking lot at the store. There is a lot to pack, so much left to do and yet manage to keep the shop straight for customers to navigate. There are still a few days left to be open for business.


I'm here now because to come in each morning gets harder and harder and some days I can't stand the questions from people or the looks. Tonight I'm alone with the shopping center and while I'm pulling down things to sort, pack up or mark down I can lose myself in loud angry music. During the day hours I have neighbors to consider but for now I can try to drown out my feelings.


I think back over so many years and memories and too many people and customers and experiences to count. Being a small business owner is special and for me it was a wonderful time. I hate the saying "it's time" when everything in me scream that it's not and yet the circumstances that are dragging this place down are out of my hands. It is time and I'm still fighting to hold on.

#thefinal90 #storeclosing #endofanera #favorite #customers #decades #business #community #icon #sweetshop #beloved #local #smallbusiness #favorite #pennycandyshop 

Live that dream

Did you ever have a dream that happened - something that right before your eyes turned into reality? I did. I am grateful for that. And yet the selfish part of me wants to remain an entrepreneur, not return to just being a normal person with a regular job.


But the risks and the dead end I've arrived at within the last several years are more than writing on the wall and I'm smart enough to see that....right? I am, and I'd still do it all over again if I could relocate; but I'm 20 years older and while far more savvy I'm also perhaps not as able to pull 20 hour work days getting moved, set up and established for a new beginning. And there's this bad taste in my mouth from the situation I'm in and perhaps this IS what's best, for me.


But for YOU - wanting desperately to make that leap, to break out on your own and write that new chapter - do it. Don't let it slip by because that may be the best time of your life. For me it was.

#store #closing #familyowned #ghostsofthepast #smallbusinessowners #entrepreneur #dream #deathofasmallbusiness #thefinal90 #independentretailer #lastseason #closingforever #locallyowned #momandpop #fading #oldtimeshop #‎thefinal90‬ ‪#‎storeclosing‬ #sadness #newcareer

Accountability

It's a word I mention often and something by which I live. And ever since I wrote yesterday's blog post I've been a little annoyed. It took me until this afternoon to figure out why, but I finally got it.

That doesn't sound like me - not the real me. It sounds as if I'm whining about costs, complaining that "life is hard", etc. when in reality I'd normally be fighting for what I loved. And I did love this shop - the one that I'm letting go, in a process that I've often described as cutting off my arm. Maybe I cared so much because I have been through the rough years and the very difficult times. Maybe it's because I fought hard to stand for something and then even harder to keep it all together. So for me to throw in the towel now - am I really ok with just blaming it on others, rising expenses and landlords?

No, I'm not ok with that and I COULD have stayed if I'd wanted. It's conceivable that my very competitive sales structure could have been adjusted; that my shop would have began to resemble the chain stores with a smaller selection at ghastly prices. I didn't HAVE to carry those stupid melt-in-your-mouth mints that came only from Ohio because I was determined to offer my customers the best. Surely a factory in china creates something similar, right? So why am I faithfully buying something more expensive "just because"? 

One can pick and choose items and merchandise as a sole proprietor, and one can also make poor choices. If I stuck to my guns on those damn mints there was likely a whole slew of similar products that I could also be purchasing more cheaply. So why did the mints, which in turn represented how I do business, what my choices have been and ultimately, how I'm running my shop - matter? Because they don't have an awful artificial taste, and they don't burn your mouth but rather melt on your tongue. Because when the day before a 29th birthday, the other half of my life was diagnosed with cancer. It took my breath away and almost took the business when I walked out to be there in the hospital day after day after day. We learned about medical terms, surgeries, doctor's visits and the endless game of waiting for results. We found that so many things in life both started to matter and also ceased to be a priority, how self-employed insurance was a nightmare and a joke and how during chemo that nothing tastes right.

Except for those damn mints. They did the trick and helped offer some bit of taste to counter dry mouth that comes with months of treatments. Having lost a parent at an early age to the same dreadful disease, I was aware of how little a cancer patient enjoys. I tried to never  run out of them in he following years. My customers knew I have something for everyone and so it did matter that I sold the best. And no one who happened to mention in conversation that their relative was fighting hard through a chemo program, ever left without a bag of mints.

So you see, I had my choices, was able and willing to choose inferior product for higher profits. But that's not how my daddy raised me. He always told me you do what is right and honorable, because that's just how we live, and so the part about cutting corners just wasn't an option for me. And yesterday's whining about costs that went up as foot traffic went down; how it all came to a crunch one day - well, I had my choices and chances and I made them. I made the right ones for me and didn't settle. Because you know, when you start caving in on one thing.....then pretty soon it's another, and then another. And then what you have is lack of pride in what you do. That's not what I picked.

P.S. Don't get me wrong; it's nice and affirming and perhaps soul - finding to do something that you believe is right. But that doesn't make it easier. While it's pretty therapeutic to bleed and weep all over this keyboard and blog about doing the right thing it still hurts like heck to say goodbye. 

I'd like to have a few less days with leaky eyes, but then again if I didn't care this much I guess almost two decades wouldn't have mattered the way they do. Still, it's pulling off pieces of me to leave and I wish I could stay, do everything on my terms and live the good life. I'm gonna miss this so much.....more than I can say.

#commitment #to #quality #standards #madeintheusa #loyalty #thebest #refusingtosettle #principles #buttermints #meltaways #stickingupforwhatsright #meltinyourmouth #chemo #lackoftaste #comforting

Struggling with September

I've spent all day trying to come to terms with saying goodbye. September and October are some of my favorite months and over the last few days I'd been feeling a nagging sense that this is all slipping away far too fast.


Shortly after the summer season officially ends with Labor day, things begin to change. Stores hours that were 10am until 10 pm gave way to more civilized closing times of 8pm and for the first time in many weeks some of us shop owners took a day off midweek. We slept a little more; reconnected with our families; enjoyed a dinner out with the spouse for the first time since June. And then somewhere in the middle of the month we began planning again.


The fall and the times leading up to the Christmas holidays required attention. Those are valuable weeks for business still, admittedly less than summer but without requiring extra staff and the long hours. It was a time when many of our regular customers would make their appearance after a summer of renting out their beach places and so it was a fun time to catch up with so many familiar faces. I would always hold off on putting up a Christmas tree until after labor day weekend but since the holidays were coming it became commonplace to start changing and decorating the store. All these activities combined with the cooler weather and more relaxed schedule seemed to make up one of the best seasons of the year.


This time it's all so very different. Instead of placing pumpkins and strawbales outside I have signs listing the many items available for sale at deep discounts. Rather than draping fall leaf garlands across the doors and windows I'm adorning them with signs that scream "CLOSING FOREVER". I'm not greeting the shoulder season with enthusiasm and excitement but rather preparing to bury an old friend.


No matter what I could have done today it wouldn't have mattered. The clocks marched onwards towards the ending of one more month that I will never be able to experience in the way that I loved. In a few hours my final September will be done. This place; these years; those memories are fading from my life and I'm unwilling to let go. I have stupidly loved and cared so much about this shop and my customers, the interactions and being a small part of so many lives that it's taking my breath away.

#september #ending #storeclosing #goodbye #after35years #ihaveloved #sayinggoodbye #movingon #familyowned #finally  #smallretailer #independent #business #thefinal90 #endofanera #closingforever

What we stood for

Written in 2005, as a means of explaining that we HAD standards, that you didn't find corners being cut in here, and that we supported our country and those who made quality products in it. I don't regret a thing because like anything worth doing in life, you have to stand for something.


"Our store has a long history of carrying confections proudly made in the USA. Since 1979 we have held to our principles of doing business with American manufacturers, the ones offering quality items which for generations have been produced here in our country.


We have stood firm in our commitment to buy from those companies who often are in their third or fourth generation of family ownership. It appears to be the right choice to spend our money with individuals who choose not to sell out to manufacturing in china and instead continued to employ our Americans and contribute to the economy here.


It's a small amount of money a shop like ours spends, but if we stop doing that, who will? Unfortunately, as many of the mega-chains opt for cheaper, low-quality products made in China, they are helping to put our American manufacturers out of business. As the walmarts of the world choose to support corporations with such a lack of standards, they are stealing jobs from our citizens and forever changing the landscape of our economy.


We stand for something. We uphold standards of food regulations followed by American manufacturers, without questionable ingredients. Chocolates, licorice, fudge, salt water taffy, hard candies, mints, caramels, stick candy, lollipops and more - yes, these things are produced here in the USA - but not the latest gummy cartoon character candy that your child wants; because it's only made in China. When you shop here you can talk to people that KNOW their product, who can tell you the history of the companies and show you a list of ingredients.


These are some of the reasons why we are different. As we enter 2006, which will be the 27th year that our shop has been a part of the community, we look forward to seeing and serving you.


Thank you."

#Americanmade #quality #smallbusiness #standards #local #momandpop #noimports #buyAmerican #thefinal90 #madeintheUSA  #supportlocal #supportsmallbusiness #demandAmerican #buylocal

I'm not good with change

....but I'm learning.

2:35am and I'm dead tired but not sleeping. I'm an onion tonight, peeling off layers, and every time I open my eyes it seems sadness drips out. I am stronger than this, I know......


I have always hated change, lived a life for almost 20 years where little happened to disrupt the norm. And so it must come as no surprise that this ending after almost as many years does sting and tug at my heart.


Some people have an attachment to things, such as sports cars, jewelry, or luxury vacations. I craved being myself in the world that I thought I'd come alive in; the place where I'd found my passion and spirit for life. For the first time in my life things fell into place and from a deformed spirit grew something that was mine.


I know, how can a job or a business mean so much? Maybe we aren't all alike, and maybe what brought my soul to life wouldn't thrill yours. But I found my place in the world for a time and although I'm grieving the loss of this thing that helped me become whole, I have to believe there is more out there. I'm sure this isn't where my story ends. It just happens to be the place where I'm pausing, learning to let go and finding out what's next.



#lettinggo #movingon #sayinggoodbye #finally #closing #endofanera #goodbyemomandpop #thefinal90

My favorite customers; their favorite store

The door with the clanking bell popped open and a pair of customers enthusiastially greet me with the words "you're still here - our favorite store at the beach!!". I'm not tooting my horn but I get that a lot - so many of them make this a destination and often make a beeline for my shop as soon as they arrive in town. It's become a tradition while on their summer vacation each year, and I know them all. Names I can't remember but I never forget a face.


I quickly divert the conversation to chat about their family, catch up on the latest news and learn which grades the kids are going into this year. We pull out cell phones to share pictures of each other's dogs and swap stories about all the years of summers and vacations and what it was like long ago in this town.


They have a list, sometimes hand-written, sometimes synced to their home computer and right there on their ipad. We find all the varieties of licorice mom requested, the odd sour hard candy for Uncle Paul that they can only find here, discuss what size gummy candies would be suitable for a younger child, and I pull out a few samples so they can decide on Huckleberry or Watermelon taffy. They aren't staying around here this summer, some of the relatives wanted to be further up the coast so they are 45 minutes north but they tell me, would of course, still make the trip here.


They are ready to go and I still haven't told them. I wish there was a way to hand envelopes to my beloved customers and ask them to open later when at home so I can say goodbye without really having to talk about it. But they tell me they will look forward to returning next summer and I have to say something; I have to thank them for being such devoted fans, for sharing their summer memories with me and for making this a part of their vacation. I hand them a card which has a variety of ways to stay in touch, just in case I relocate. It's a very slim hope but I would hate to lose touch with so many of these people - perhaps there is a way we will meet up again next summer for coffee or ice cream. Many don't see the line of text on the card that says simply "R.I.P. <store name> 1979 ~ 2014" and I'm grateful for that. I hope they'll see it later when they get home and will understand.

#closing #smallstore #independent #retailer #momandpop #locallyowned #thefinal90 #loveyourlocal

How important IS that thing called social media?

I touched on this topic in a previous post which you can find here - "The fear of change", 8.31.14   http://thefinal90days.blogspot.com/2014/08/fear.html - but I felt it was important enough to break down as a seperate topic.

How much does social networking really have to do with your business? I believe many would chime in to agree that it matters plenty, some might say yes but it's important to not assign too much value to the process, and perhaps most would confirm that it is "somewhat important". It's more critical than you may realize however, and is something you cannot afford to skip. Below are a few points that I think are worth sharing.

 
1. You are not simply throwing your business name into a hat, aka the vast world of facebook or twitter or pinterest. You are building a brand upon the activity and history you already have, to connect with other people across different areas of communication. Are you so wealthy and swamped with business that you no longer need additional customers? Then this post isn't for you.

2. Rather than wait until your customer base fades and shrinks, you are constantly positioning yourself to be noticed. This exposure silently works 24/7, 365 days a year to attract and reach out to a new segment of people. Are you out there for them to find? If not, you didn't just make it harder to gain business; you gave competitors who ARE out there a leg up.
 
3. Social sites may be the new "yellow pages" or phone book of the past. I say past as if I'm a dinosaur and yet I'm only 43. But I haven't pulled out a phone book in AGES. But "way back when", with yellow pages being the places you had to be listed, not many businesses turned up their noses at the idea and simply didn't bother. When someone wanted to find a coffee or book shop, those printed directories were the place to turn. Fast-forward to now and you'll see most people googling places to go, browsing nearby choices on Foursquare or scrolling through facebook.

4. Phone book listings never had fans or followers, or interaction for that matter. Today's networks do, meaning you can grow and cultivate an entire following on one site that could be very different from what you find with another one. Those interactions help you see what works, how customers respond to sale posts, ads for a special, or as a way to gain feedback on a particular thing.



I realize that from the perspective of a marketing guru this is written clumsily and the reason for that is I'm not one of those social-saavy people who build a career out of this. I'm just average small shop owner who was caught up in the day-to-day operations of the shop. Who didn't quite grasp the scale of connections that social sites offered, and who failed to realize the importance of finding a younger customer base. Who may have overlooked that the type of feedback I could have received would have been useful to tweak, edit and improve my shop. Yes, I have a facebook page, with a decent number of followers. But engagement with those "fans" is limited and I further limited it by not reaching out across other networks. I'm "friends" on facebook with a few younger customers but rarely see their posts. Why? Because their parents and grandparents are on facebook too, which in some cases is embarrasing and has led the younger generation to alternate sites such as instagram, twitter, snapchat, etc, and so it's valuable to diversify across several modes of communication.


Instagram....did that just make you think of pictures, that you would just take a bunch of snapshots of your merchandise or restaurant? And post them? What would you say or caption each one with? Yep! If a picture is worth words what does an incredible dessert just coming out of the oven look like? Well, in some cases it motivates me to get in my car and head off in the direction of said dessert. So why did my amazing double-diped peanut butter pretzels never debut on Instagram? I guess I was too busy - or I didn't get what it was all about - or didn't realize how I could speak to people who would oooh and aaaah over my confections.


You can't run a lousy business for long no matter how many fans you have and building up a large network of followers in no way guarantees your sucess. But for the sheer learning value in feedback when you run a poll, ask a question or hold a contest to name a new ice cream sundae, you can't afford not to be out there. Remember, if you are sitting still you aren't moving ahead. Do it now.



#socialmedia  #goodbye #smallshops #momandpop #bigboxfocus #independentsdying #locallyowned #Instagram #familyowned #twitter #facebook #engagement #fans #audience #followers #branding #connecting #customerbase #increasing #growth #interactions  #thefinal90 #socialnetworks

Not yet...

7:47pm on Saturday and I'm dragging my feet. I wish there was some way not to say "every thing must go". I wish there was a way to skip over this part. I wish there was a way to just slip out thd back door aand never have to answer another question about why. But I need to put the sign up, not just for customers but for me, so it can start to sink in that I'm down to the final days.

35 years here; 19 of them mine. And 45 days is all that remains of decades of small business work, heartache, love, caring and now, learning to let go.

#smallbusinessclosing #goodbyetoanicon #after35years #thefinal90 #supportlocal #buyAmerican #oldtimeshop #different #unique

Today I'll post the signs

I didn't post the "closing forever" sign yesterday.  I just couldn't do it but I'm sure I will today. After all, how can I exit in 6 weeks if I don't have huge signs telling people about the bargains inside, how they can "get a deal" and benefit from this turn of events? Somehow it just feels strange to be encouraging that behavior and yet it's the only thing to do when you are closing, right?


I'm sure I will post them today.

#closing #signs #endofanera #smallbusinessclosing #sayinggoodbye #thefinal90 #closingforever #after35years #deathofasmallbusiness

Everything must go

I think today's the day. With just a little over 6 weeks left I cannot avoid putting up the final sign to draw in customers one last time. Despite all the other sale signs placed around the store and in all the windows, I've avoided "the one", the final announcement stating "closing forever after 35 years". But I have to do it. I have to encourage everything to be bought at deep discounts so the doors can be  closed at the end of October. I hate to do it because I dread the comments and questions  that will follow but time is running out.

#goodbyemomandpop
#familyowned  #candyshop #Americanmade #since1979 #independentretailer #lastseason #closingforever

We are losing our choices

Many people tell me I shouldn't feel badly, that it's not my shop that failed. That this is happening everywhere and that many small businesses just like mine are fading into nothing but pictures and memories.

That's true, and while I realize I'm not alone, it doesn't make me feel better about what I see happening. Some folks are eager to discount the importance of small shops and independently owned stores, saying it's so sad, how times they are a'changin', and the dreaded "p word"....progress.

Is progress always good and does just the fact that something falls into the past a great accomplishment? Or are they just using the word to imply that what everyone does nowadays is good; that when many people move in a certain direction that it's a positive thing? Is falling into place in the herd of sheep lined up at the entrance to walmart the best possible thing, or is it just what's become "the norm".

What were to happen if some massive change in economy or transit of goods and products occurred, that limited our choices and availability of things to buy? What if the chain stores ending up controlling every aspect of our shopping and there were no alternative? Do we really only want to have BJ's, Sam's Club, Target and a few others?

Lest it appear that I've lost my mind and am comparing my shop to the giants, let me clarify that's not the point here. The real issues lies with us having options and choosing where we can spend. But the more independents we lose, the few choices remain. And that my friends, is a tragedy for America. Because it sends a message that only the strong survive and the small vanish, we may lose our towns, the unique flavors of where we live and most of all, our sense of community.







#chainstores #retailgiants #limitedchoices #goodbye #smallbusiness #thefinal90 #momandpop #locallyowned #shoplocal #choices #livelocal #yourcommunity #smallshopsclosing #nomoreindependents #deathofsmallbusiness

Pieces of me

Today is hell and I would give anything to make this end. I am literally peeling off pieces of me and placing bit and parts of my life, heart and soul into plastic bags people are leaving with. I loved this stupid store so much, I loved being a part of people's lives, I loved knowing I gave them a chance to buy the best while supporting the best - America's candy makers who are still here in the USA making products. This was a tiny amount of business to them but at least I stayed a firm supporter of what they offered and stood for - with this store closing that is one less supporter and already so many of us are gone.

When will people realize what we represented? I don't think they realize the love and care that went into this shop, the generations that came here and the dedication I had. The few visitors earlier today who caually bemoaned the fate of small businesses as they noted the other stores closing in this shopping center, ended up shrugging and writing it off to "progress". What progress, when like robots they all follow each other to the big chains while the real owners are fighting to hold on? When will anyone realize that we ARE the heart and soul of little towns, the unique flavor of an area and a real person? This is ripping my heart out and I can do nothing.

#thefinal90 #storeclosing #goodbye #smallbusiness #35years #heart

Letting go

"As we grow older and wiser, we begin to realize what we need and what we need to leave behind.  Sometimes walking away is a step forward."

#lettinggo #movingon #thefinal90 #closingdoors #nextchapter #smallbusiness #finallyclosing #afteralltheseyears #supportyourlocal #independentsfading

I believe....

 

I believe....


....that grief isn't defined by words and equations, or measured by certain traits.

....that what spoke to your soul and made you come alive is something that can now be a huge loss in your life.

...that the longer you wait to make a change that you know is coming, the harder it will be.

....that hatever once made you whole; filled an emptiness; was there as you came out of the dark and healed, is going to hurt like hell when you say goodbye.

...that letting go may be the only way you can reach the next chapter in your life.

....that when the time comes when you have to walk away from memories of when you were broken and found the one thing that worked, that restored your faith in yourself and that let you live again, that it's going to rip your heart out.

....that being afraid of change keeps you from growing.

...that it's possible to feel some things should never end and that what made you complete should never go away.

....that this may be the time for me to fly.

...that you can love something that restored you to living as a normal person so much that it's going to leave fragments.

....that this sadness is about losing the only thing in my life I ever became.

....that letting go of this dream is harder than I thought.

....that these years were some of the best times in my life.

#lettinggo #closingabusiness #movingon #afteralltheseyears #nextchapter #deathofasmallbusiness #goodbye #momandpop #smallstores #closing #since1979 #afterallthistime #closingforever #thefinal90 #belovedsmallshop #icon #community #shoplocal #loss #hometownbusinesses

Feeling the loss of small businesses everywhere

So you take me for a ride,
Through your town, just to see -
And it hurts reading "For Rent"
Where Main Street used to be.

You pull to the drive thru,
Of another fast food chain -
Casually you mention the loss
Of small businesses, down the drain.

Need to do some shopping you say,
So to the highway we cruise -
Past the small mom and pop's
This community stands to lose.

Once at the big box giant,
I can't join you inside -
I'm mourning the emptiness
Of your town, that has died.

So easy to look past
What's right there to see -
A quiet ride back to home
Leaves a sadness in me.

For your town can't survive,
When businesses are passed by -
And soon people will ask
Why the hell did they die.

Silent streets tell the tale,
Of what has been lost -
Vacant storefronts now show,
What big box "savings" have cost.

Don't let this happen where you live.

#storeclosing #goodbye #after35years #finally #closed #memories #since1979 #alltheseyears #movingon #goingoutofbusiness #loveyourlocal #endofanera #independent #retailer #supportlocal #thefinal90 #lettinggo

A new direction appears and then vanishes

Today I feel like a failure. I don't think anyone considers what it's like to go through this but some things I thought were in the works for possible volunteer projects after the summer.....well, those people never got back to me, made excuses not to respond or reply. Back in March I'd learned of an organization that deeply resonated with things that are important to me. I fell hard for their mission and what they stood for, and actually believed I would be part of that in the future.


I was wrong. After putting in a lot of effort and time to be part of a fundraising event in May, no one ever spoke to me again. I've tried to find out what went wrong; why I failed at something else when the biggest part of my life is already crumbling around me but I got no answers. Maybe someone didn't like me, or they didn't really need my help but having cared and becoming involved I've taken the silence very hard


Maybe no one knows what it's like to go through this painful loss of a business but I sure wish something I'd hoped to be a part of had worked out. Maybe people could think what others are going through as this is one of the the toughest goodbyes I've ever said. Maybe it's really important as one is going through something like this to try and find a new beginning elsewhere, a point of starting over career - wise or a new direction. It just might be what helps focus a little bit on the future.

#thefinal90 #storeclosing #lastseason #disappointed #quality #standards #after35years #wrong #choice #newcareer #changes #sayinggoodbye #smallbusiness #struggle #independent #retailer #endofanera #closed