A new direction appears and then vanishes

Today I feel like a failure. I don't think anyone considers what it's like to go through this but some things I thought were in the works for possible volunteer projects after the summer.....well, those people never got back to me, made excuses not to respond or reply. Back in March I'd learned of an organization that deeply resonated with things that are important to me. I fell hard for their mission and what they stood for, and actually believed I would be part of that in the future.


I was wrong. After putting in a lot of effort and time to be part of a fundraising event in May, no one ever spoke to me again. I've tried to find out what went wrong; why I failed at something else when the biggest part of my life is already crumbling around me but I got no answers. Maybe someone didn't like me, or they didn't really need my help but having cared and becoming involved I've taken the silence very hard


Maybe no one knows what it's like to go through this painful loss of a business but I sure wish something I'd hoped to be a part of had worked out. Maybe people could think what others are going through as this is one of the the toughest goodbyes I've ever said. Maybe it's really important as one is going through something like this to try and find a new beginning elsewhere, a point of starting over career - wise or a new direction. It just might be what helps focus a little bit on the future.

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