Reality creeps in

I think I'm finding some extra confirmation on the dinosaur thing.

.

Since Sunday when I learned of another small business that was closing I've been restless; searching; looking around for some sign that "my people" are still around. I don't know the gentleman who is closing his shop or his story but what I could read on his facebook page was sadness over closing. And that I thought, meant that there are indeed other members of my tribe present - the ones that loved what they did, valued and fiercely loved their customers and life as an independent.

If there were others besides me who felt this loss that I'm feeling, then I'm not alone, right? I shared someone else's story; passed on his words and added a few; and no one commented. It was as if they tried to ignore what is happening, or perhaps they didn't really want to know. But these are people with whom I've connected with, the ones who still have their restaurants and stores and service companies. THEY would care.....right? Because if they don't then am I sharing a dead cause and blowing a silent trumpet? I looked all over the Internet tonight for some long-time independents that always have championed this thinking - the ones who agreed, and supported, and understood.

But their pages were silent and they themselves appeared distant; either otherwise occupied or moving in a new direction. A few had closed up in the last year and some of the most enthusiastic cheerleaders for the "Shop Local" movement had abandoned the effort altogether. Perhaps they saw the light I've been hiding from; perhaps they realized things are changing and some of us will fall. Perhaps I'm one of the few who didn't see or want to see what's right there? 

And then it dawned on me; maybe this is how you begin to know your time is up, when you look around and realize the others are gone. Maybe this is how you begin to see that others have let go of a dream that was once like yours. Maybe this is how you realize you've held on too long.

#truth #reality #ending #closing #afteralltheseyears #forever #thefinal90 #shoplocalmovement #dinosaur #fool #blind #whatotherssaw #failed #dream #itsover #realization #lettinggo #closingasmallbusiness

Taking your breath away

Today we depart from talking about my shop to share another one with you. I'm sure you have experienced this yourself when you entered a similar family-owned type of establishment - perhaps you have many of these where you live. But if you must find one near you and visit it just to see what I'm talking about; just to see what these gems are like; why they matter so deeply to many of us.


In a tiny town on the narrow part of land that juts out into the Atlantic below Delaware and runs south towards Virginia Beach, VA sits an icon. Somehow the small town of Parksley, Virginia has managed to escape the vacant atmosphere familiar to so many similar places in the area and has several mom and pop stores, eateries and of course, Jaxon's.

I was only in there for the first time a year ago but it took my breath away - and isn't that the kind of place we all want to walk into? The array of merchandise; the feeling of stepping back a few decades in time, neatly laid out displays, and the astonishing range of items was truly a blast from the past. You could feel time stand still and that this shop had served it's community for many years, being a part of countless generations and families. Where else can you shop for a Sunday hat, quality men's work boots, pots and pans, ribbons and fabric, housewares, little girls' fancy dresses and stationary? It was a real, genuine "variety store" and it made you want to just wander the aisles with a shopping cart, explore and learn their history all at the same time.


But after all, isn't that what a unique and one of a kind business is supposed to do? They aren't all the same, no repetitive layouts found in every one you go into - each one is it's own adventure waiting to be discovered. Perhaps these are meant to be the bright spots in a dull world - a place which allows you to escape from the mundane, everyday pattern of life and soulless chain stores. I hope you will go out and find one to to visit in your state. Sometimes, just maybe, we all need to find that which takes our breath away for a little while.

http://www.jaxons.net/

#smalltown #familybusiness  #easternshore #virginia #independentretailer #Jaxons #thefinal90 #supportsmallbusiness #livelocal #ParksleyVA #mylastseason #finallyclosing #after35years #favoritelocalstores #since1979 #lettinggo

Am I becoming a dinosaur?

Concerns from an independent retailer, written in July 2011

Today was a tough one. For eleven hours I've tried to be polite to people coming into my shop. I don't feel it’s best to pounce on them and be pushy, yet I greet everyone with a smile or a hello, mention I'm available when they are ready, feel free to ask any questions, etc. Few have responded; some with a blank stare or grunt; some quick to point out they aren't going to buy anything, just look; several almost seem offended I approached them. Ultimately a large number leave after strolling through as if this was a museum, often claiming an easy excuse like the heat or time of day. Many however do note that this is just like the candy shop of their childhood, they reminisce and point out familiar treats with excitement. But they don't wish to buy here - they'll hold out and find a dollar store nearby they say.

Some have stated my worst fear; that they will wait till tonight when they reach the mega-chain store of choice. Bright, glitzy, neon….those stores are all these things and more; larger, more expensive, offering a buffet of made in China candies. Their employees won't know the difference between two different varieties of chocolates, or the legend of salt water taffy that I keep copies of to pass out to my curious smaller customers. They won't offer a sample of a very taste-specific licorice and discuss the flavors with someone searching for a favorite variety their parents used to buy them years ago, maybe in a tiny shop like mine.

But they will go there to these neon castles which are on every corner, and which in the last few years have crushed every independent in town except mine. Out of more than a dozen small and locally owned shops this is the final stand. Sometimes I wonder if there is anything that could elevate my small business to the “corporate glamour” level these people seem to want - even if there was, it's unlikely I'd be able to pull it off. We ARE the definition of "mom and pop" and what so many used to love and welcome, but to an ever-growing number of people are we perhaps turning into plain or outdated, a relic from the past?

A decade ago it seemed everyone wanted to be here; loved the shop, the history, the atmosphere and the products, but I don't think those things are a selling point anymore. It’s not the familiar layout of a chain store, a reassuringly giant place where no one knows your name. I can't ever complete with mega-mall big box monstrosities; I just never thought that is all people would want.

P.S. After the summer I aggressively worked to update a number of things; lighting, product selection, signage, layout and more; all things I'd been trying to keep up with each year. It's important to note that when a small business has primarily one person in charge that sometimes your vision may not be good enough. I'm not sure that a sole proprietor is the best at seeing "different" or "fresh & new" or "out of the box" when it's just one perspective. So maybe I did fall prey to that and failed to change and grow enough? The following year did bring an increase in positive reactions from many visitors but due to poor management and landlord issues the shopping center declined.





#locallyowned #smallshop #independent #retailer #supportlocal #weareclosing #thefinal90 #fading #momandpop #whyshoplocal #bigboxgiants #ourfinalseason #deathofasmallbusiness #communityicon #belovedlocalshop

Summer is fading...

I had noticed July slipped away, taking with it the final time I'd be here over the 4th, with it's hustle and bustle, influx of visitors to our beach town, and the many regulars who for so many seasons have been stopping in here. But I still had August; still had another month of peak summertime vacationer; friends and people I'd come to look for each year, right?

But last night it hit me as I followed a usual Sunday evening routine for us, stopping on the way home to pick up a pizza for dinner; this IS it. My final summer in my own shop is approaching the end and I will likely never again be the captain of my own ship, so to speak. Today I'm doing the equivalent of curling up in a ball and trying to block everything out. While outside a gorgeous beach day unfolds, I'm sitting at the counter that used to be a deli counter icebox in a general store; a massive wooden beast of a fixture estimated to weigh upwards of a ton. The icebox sections on either side of the display case with very thick glass front and top, are lined with metal and have small drains in the bottom of them for the water to run out. It's to me a relic of another small business, perhaps several, which once upon a time used it in another shop. And it's one of the pieces I have to let go of.


I gave my 90 days notice to the landlord on Saturday but had not actually come face to face in conversation until yesterday. The exchange went as might have been expected but left me feeling more hollow when there seemed to be no sadness or regret hearing my news. What did I expect? A place I've poured money into for the last 19 years seemed uninterested that I'd be leaving - oh, there was a standard sort of comment about "you've been a tenant for a long time huh?", said in a distant tone of voice that seemed un-bothered.


But to me this goodbye is so much more, a statement that almost sounds trivial with the sadness I'm experiencing. Haunted by a feeling of unease the last day or two, this morning I finally narrowed down something that is causing me additional discomfort; confirmation of something I've suspected for a few years. Sure, sometimes having our thoughts proven or validated seems like a good thing, but in this case it almost laughs in my face because I saw and felt it previously and yet tried to ignore it. To be continued.....





#thefinal90 #storeclosing #goodbye #smallbusiness #35years #candyshop #since1979 #localstores #closing #principles #Americanmade #whatwestoodfor #belovedshop #icon #familiar #favorite #weareclosing #finallygone

Where it all began

Where it all began....

One day in 1979 someone decided to open a candy shop. I was 8 years old at the time and lived 150 miles away. It wasn't me or my relatives but that doesn't make the store's history any less important. I have records dating back to show the operations of the business continually through the years up until now. There were three owners before me and for almost all this time the store's name stayed the same. Apparently during either the second or third owner it was briefly named a close variation and then changed back. In a way I feel guilty being the one to close it up after all this time, as if I'm the one letting it go. After all, everyone else did keep it going all that time.

Sometime in 1995 a young couple from Virginia were itching to get out of the city area and move somewhere less hectic. Somewhere to open a small business maybe...a real estate ad in a local newspaper listed a shop for sale.....by November the deal was done and the fourth owners had stepped into place.

#thefinal90 #closingforever #goodbye #momandpop #supportlocal #finallyclosing #after35years #beloved #localstore #sayinggoodbye #lettinggo #independent #business #smallretailer #memories #since1979 #endofanera 

Unacceptance

Today I feel that I simply cannot let go. It's just not working to look over the items in the store to decide which ones to discount and clear out, what to donate, toss or keep. I can't keep the business that was so very different years ago; many variables have changes of shoppers, the seasonal nature of this area, the economy, store expenses, etc. I've had my time; years; chances; opportunities. Maybe this wasn't my forte. Maybe I wasn't as good at being a proprietor as I thought. Maybe I should have moved on years ago and perhaps this is for the best.

And yet.....I can say all that and still want to go rip down the 50% off signs. I want to tear up the "Here's how to reach me" cards I printed up for my favorite people that I don't want to lose touch with. I want to stop hurting everyday; to not need to force back the tears that rise up during so many conversations, and I want to stop feeling like a piece of me is breaking inside. I want a chance to restructure; to tweak what I see needs changing; to sort out the slower selling items and perhaps focus on fewer of the most desirable things. I want to explain to the other half that now I see where some things need to be different, maybe that I didn't "get" before. Perhaps as I'm weeding out products and categories I've suddenly seen the light and would know how to reopen next spring better, more streamlined, profitable.

But despite what I think I see as possibilities I realize it's not just my choice. And, I've had time to try and improve the business over the last few years so if I could wouldn't it already have happened? Now there is some bitterness and I believe, jealousy over the time and money issues, so the chance to rebuild has likely passed me by. I thought I did everything I could but rather than accept this ending gracefully I'm still hoping for another chance. And yet, my time has run out here.