Saturday, September 20, 2014

I'm not good with change

....but I'm learning.

2:35am and I'm dead tired but not sleeping. I'm an onion tonight, peeling off layers, and every time I open my eyes it seems sadness drips out. I am stronger than this, I know......

I have always hated change, lived a life for almost 20 years where little happened to disrupt the norm. And so it must come as no surprise that this ending after almost as many years does sting and tug at my heart.

Some people have an attachment to things, such as sports cars, jewelry, or luxury vacations. I craved being myself in the world that I thought I'd come alive in; the place where I'd found my passion and spirit for life. For the first time in my life things fell into place and from a deformed spirit grew something that was mine.

I know, how can a job or a business mean so much? Maybe we aren't all alike, and maybe what brought my soul to life wouldn't thrill yours. But I found my place in the world for a time and although I'm grieving the loss of this thing that helped me become whole, I have to believe there is more out there. I'm sure this isn't where my story ends. It just happens to be the place where I'm pausing, learning to let go and finding out what's next.

#lettinggo #movingon #sayinggoodbye #finally #closing #endofanera #goodbyemomandpop #thefinal90

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