Perhaps it is how you look at things....

Maybe I'm not looking hard enough for the good stuff. I recently started following another blog, one that couldn't be more different from my lifestyle and yet it captivated me. I'm not sure how I came across Liz since I seem to have trouble finding sites on Blogger that are what I think I'm trying to find. But perhaps what I needed was to learn about this view of life so maybe it WAS what I'd been looking for.

My life and writing couldn't be more different from hers if I'd sat down and tried to be 180° the other way. It speaks to me of finding joy, appreciating life and loving every minute we are given. I may have been missing the whole point of what life experiences teach us and yet, reading snippets of  someone else's journey could be opening my eyes to a new world.

As an exercise to myself I thought I'd look again at the the post I wrote late last night but didn't publish. I wonder if by focusing on the dark and troubling parts, I'm actually limiting what I let myself see. And in the light of today's astonishingly beautiful weather, the dim view I had on my life's current events seemed perhaps too mournful. What if I'm focusing so hard on my loss that I can't see anything else and thus am missing the whole point of this experience?

There are some photos on my phone that I've taken and I'm going to look for the one that I think is the most beautiful. That's what I will post here today instead of something about my business. Then I'm going to go think about this.

P.S. I loved this photo of an unusual swirling cloud pattern towards sunset last week but didn't post it. Why? Because there are power lines in it - and real professionals don't make stupid mistakes like that. So I let perfectionism dampen the beauty I thought I saw....?

#findingthelight #thankful #appreciatelife #beauty #joy #Iamtrying #learningtoletgo #thefinal90 #freetofly #lookforthebrightspot #seebeauty #lettinggo #learningtofly #endofanera #finalchapter #lossofsmallbusiness

My last Saturday has ended.

What an amazing day. So many people came in the store to say goodbye and purchase items for the last time. I heard phrases like "you meant so much to the community" and "thank you for being here all this time. We have loved making this shop a part of our visits."

A few people had tears in their eyes while saying goodbye and knowing that I wanted to preserve this day in my mind I tried to take as many pictures as possible. It's not "just" the closing of a store that is happening, it's a place that many people cared about.

I don't really think the waterproof makeup held up too well. But that's all right because it means I was able to say goodbye to the things and people who  mattered. And yes, a few of those tears were when these stunning flowers arrived from a lovely friend, perhaps the most beautiful ones I've ever seen. What a day. I am so lucky to have had something I loved so much.

#thefinal90 #smallbusinessclosing #35years #finally #beloved #local #shop #iamsolucky #momandpop#whatitslike #losingourindependents #livelocalsupportlocal #Americanmade

Another chance today

I was able to tell a bit of my story today, to a news reporter and a very large black camera. That's not something normal for me but I'm appreciative that they thought it mattered enough to send someone out.


In the brief amount of time however when asked to sum up what this all meant; how it feels to be closing and what my thoughts are, I fumbled for the right words. How do you pack all that into just a few minutes? And yet, perhaps what I blurted out is what matters the most to me; something to the effect of "when you do business locally you connect with your community which is something no big box store could ever offer". A comment or two about having standards, principles and doing what's right echoed the choices I've made not to sell unknown products made in china but to stand by the American companies which continue to struggle.


Hopefully the message somehow comes across on the news today at 6pm. I came home and looked for confirmation of what this blog may have done and I'm not sure I see that. This blog never gathered a crowd or set the world on fire, but perhaps it mattered to just a few people. Searching for the hashtag #thefinal90 gave me this colorful collection of graphics and images which have accompanied my journey and somehow, that made me feel better. I did what I set out to do; spread a message across various forms of social media and if no one cared, that's out of my hands. The words and the thoughts and the dedication to small businesses everywhere is there. I just hope someone reads it who connects with something that was written.

#finalchapter #smallshop #closing #afterdecades #ihaveloved #community #localicon #thefinal90 #sayinggoodbye #deathofasmallbusiness #momandpopcloses #losing #local #shops #almostover #cornerstore #familiarshop 

One week to go

It is the first of my three final days of business. After Sunday only a short time remains until my lease ends on the 31st. 

I am trying to face these remaining days with the attitude reflected in this graphic. I've done my time grieving and I'm sure there is more to come. Some of the toughest decisions about items or fixtures lie ahead and I still have many things to let go of.

But as a wise friend said to me this week, I cannot let this consume me. I have to let go of something I love but I cannot let that loss crush me. I am sad and trying to keep all this in mind at the same time. Wish me luck.

#lastfewdays #final #goodbye #closingforever #thefinal90 #endofanera #independent #retailer #beloved #shop #familiar #icon #favorite #store #momandpop #lettinggo #finallyclosing #confectionaryshop #memories #small #cornerstore #chocolateshop

Going out with a bang

I changed direction and did a complete about-face. It's not like me but tough times call for dramatic actions I guess. After months of agonizing over this decision, feeling  frustrated over so many of the factors that led to this choice, I faced the fact that I'm out of here in less than two weeks head on. Posted on Sunday:


Greetings folks! I've given it a lot of thought and decided we will not just go out quietly. When you have been here for this long you cannot just slip out of sight and there are so many people still to say goodbye too, those who are messaging and texting wanting to get into the shop one last time. So we will go out with a BANG!! This weekend will be the final three days and we're celebrating with an epic sale, free candy and goodies and a chance to see you all once more. 

This is going to be the best place to start on your Christmas gift list!! Be here to say goodbye, celebrate 35 years AND do some fabulous shopping! I'm looking forward to seeing you - the best customers ever. I will miss you so much!! xoxoxo"


I'm setting up the store for a giant sale, cleaning out, throwing away and making piles to donate. I can't help but feel a little excited and glad that so many people are planning to be here this weekend and that definately warms my heart; which at the same time is still breaking into a million pieces. This place IS me and I have been it's heart and soul for 19 years. I'm struggling but felt that this was the right way to go out.....


I'll have to post some of the comments later on that have been made but to do it now will lead to leaky eyes and I have a party to plan.....

#sayinggoodbye #finally #closing #endofanera #goodbyemomandpop #thefinal90 #storeclosing #loveyourlocal #localbusinesses #closed #lettinggo #after35years #loved #ending #ihaveloved #missingthisalready

Maybe it is a time to fly

People keep mentioning all the great possibilities that lie ahead of me now. They talk about the next chapter; the new adventures and all the opportunities I'll have.

It's true. I will have many chances to move on in other directions. Unless you've had a small business it's hard to realize how much falls upon just one or two individuals and how often time is no longer your own. The daily hours of the shop, seven days a week can be wearing but more importantly it can drag you into a state where you are no longer growing.

Perhaps I was there, as to run and operate the store took so much of my efforts and energies. Sometimes I think it's possible to slip into that without even realizing because when one is is a sheltered state of routine maybe we forget to look outside of ourselves. I think there are things I'd like to do; try; fiddle around with jewelry making perhaps. But the time and energy wasn't there lately and I may have missed seeing how small my world became.

This could be my chance to find a new love and my next passion in life. I have to remember that become a vibrant and beautiful butterfly one must shed the protective dull grey cocoon to move forward. Maybe, in the upcoming November and December and all the other months to follow, maybe I'm going to find my colors after all.

#locallyowned #sayinggoodbye #thefinal90 #endofanera #independent #retailer #beloved #shop #familiar #icon #favorite #store #momandpop #lettinggo #closingannouncement #confectionaryshop #memories #small #cornerstore #chocolateshop

I am lucky to have loved so much.

It's 10:30 in the morning and I should be at work. There is so much to do; so many things to pack, donate, list for sale, get rid of. What I can't package up is all the memories of this part of my life. So many people and memories and good times, bad times and everything in between. I have loved being the owner of this place; grateful to have known so many of you; trying to make sense out of the final two weeks.

I am letting sadness cloud my thinking which is complicating matters. I need to be making calls, searching out antique dealers for the century old fixtures and being practical. But right now the concept of losing the only time in my life that things came together for me is taking over and I'm not doing all that needs to be done.

Several of my rescued animals are curled up with me as this is being written. They understand, know my sadness and gather around. I'm grateful for the silent support which comes with no comments or questions or advice on how I should feel right now. The depth and difficulty of this goodbye is perhaps relative to the feelings held for this chapter in my life. I am so lucky to have had something I loved so very much.

#goodbye #smallbusiness #35years #finally #closing #localshop #momandpop #locallyowned #thefinal90 #sadness #memories #IHaveLoved #mystore #deathofasmallbusiness #lettinggo #movingon

Big box casualties

This began being written back in 2009 as I began to see the attraction the larger stores held for consumers. I worried that we, the independents, may be fading from favor so now, five years later, I'm finishing it. 



I believe the shift towards the “get it all under one roof” mentality has significantly impacted the small retailer for many reasons. I'd venture to say that it's become more than just how people spend; I think it's become a mind set. Prior to the early 1990's I had never set foot in a Walmart. I know, I know. Sheltered east coaster I guess, but when we traveled we went to places that were all about the small towns and where variety made up the local landscape. Somehow, if the giants were present I managed to miss them until they arrived in Virginia, probably around 92' or '93.


Before Walmart you may have needed to go to several different stores for various items. I realize by today's standards of one stop shopping that behavior seems terribly time consuming and wasteful, but was it really THAT bad? I don't recall being so horribly stressed out by needing to visit a small hardware store, locally-owned pet supply shop and grocery as a huge black hole in my life. Matter of fact, it offered variety and experiences, especially when visiting familiar and favorite stores. But then along came the mega-chains Suddenly size mattered and the larger the building the better your shopping experience would be....right? Dad could wander off to the electronics department; the kids were loading up on McDonald's and at the arcade; and everyone was happy. No squealing about how long this was taking, or need to rush, because there was no need to go anywhere else. Our world had begun to shrink into one vast place and we LOVED that. Run the car in the back side of the building for tires and service, visit the cell phone kiosk, try on eyeglasses, get the bank stuff done....seriously. It was ALL there.


Is that when our thinking began shrinking too? Suddenly we couldn't be bothered with Mr. Wells down at the local hardware shop because that was too much trouble. Never mind that he'd faithfully been on duty for 37 years, and his father before that, dispensing advice, and helping with projects; it was another stop and we just couldn't manage that anymore. It was easier to pick up what was needed at either Walmart or the accompanying big box twin that it was so often paired with, Home Depot.


Carol, who owned the pet supply for the last 12 years knew everything about animal foods and what to feed for just about every kind of situation. She knew your pets and kids and was always a fun visit, until the day you realized that bags of dog food were a little cheaper at Walmart and you were already there. So you didn't need Carol anymore and you cut that bit of personal interaction with a real person out of your life.


Did big box buying rise in popularity due to the nature of it's “built-in babysitter” feature? Because perhaps it's not just about "the time saved" by visiting one place. The combination of low prices, multiple services and perhaps a way to entertain the whole family for an afternoon could have been what sold people on it. But what if we let go of the other choices we had, and as they fade and close we end up with only this option? Do we want our only decision to be between walmart and perhaps one or two other giants? I realize that's being overly dramatic but what if they were to raise prices significantly once they have killed off much of the competition?


I'm not sure I like the idea of having to line up like a herd of cattle at the same place as everyone else - I mean, you've seen what Black Friday looks like, when the first few stores open their doors early in the morning and hundreds of people are anxiously waiting. I don't "do" stampedes and prefer to spend where I choose, for reasons that range from knowing the owner to supporting someone's commitment to quality.


Choices may be fading and not as plentiful as in years past, but here we still have a number of independents that I love, use and value. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the fact we run to several small stores isn't threatening our quality of life. After all, it's the chance to choose; a right we all have. And more importantly, it's a privilege we could lose in the very near future.

#bigboxstore #mindset #consumers #choices #spendinghabits #lossofchoice #retailgiants #monopoly #personal #connections #onestopshop #shopping #experience #thefinal90 #walmart