My last Saturday has ended.

What an amazing day. So many people came in the store to say goodbye and purchase items for the last time. I heard phrases like "you meant so much to the community" and "thank you for being here all this time. We have loved making this shop a part of our visits."

A few people had tears in their eyes while saying goodbye and knowing that I wanted to preserve this day in my mind I tried to take as many pictures as possible. It's not "just" the closing of a store that is happening, it's a place that many people cared about.

I don't really think the waterproof makeup held up too well. But that's all right because it means I was able to say goodbye to the things and people who  mattered. And yes, a few of those tears were when these stunning flowers arrived from a lovely friend, perhaps the most beautiful ones I've ever seen. What a day. I am so lucky to have had something I loved so much.

#thefinal90 #smallbusinessclosing #35years #finally #beloved #local #shop #iamsolucky #momandpop#whatitslike #losingourindependents #livelocalsupportlocal #Americanmade

Maybe it is a time to fly

People keep mentioning all the great possibilities that lie ahead of me now. They talk about the next chapter; the new adventures and all the opportunities I'll have.

It's true. I will have many chances to move on in other directions. Unless you've had a small business it's hard to realize how much falls upon just one or two individuals and how often time is no longer your own. The daily hours of the shop, seven days a week can be wearing but more importantly it can drag you into a state where you are no longer growing.

Perhaps I was there, as to run and operate the store took so much of my efforts and energies. Sometimes I think it's possible to slip into that without even realizing because when one is is a sheltered state of routine maybe we forget to look outside of ourselves. I think there are things I'd like to do; try; fiddle around with jewelry making perhaps. But the time and energy wasn't there lately and I may have missed seeing how small my world became.

This could be my chance to find a new love and my next passion in life. I have to remember that become a vibrant and beautiful butterfly one must shed the protective dull grey cocoon to move forward. Maybe, in the upcoming November and December and all the other months to follow, maybe I'm going to find my colors after all.

#locallyowned #sayinggoodbye #thefinal90 #endofanera #independent #retailer #beloved #shop #familiar #icon #favorite #store #momandpop #lettinggo #closingannouncement #confectionaryshop #memories #small #cornerstore #chocolateshop

Summer is fading...

I had noticed July slipped away, taking with it the final time I'd be here over the 4th, with it's hustle and bustle, influx of visitors to our beach town, and the many regulars who for so many seasons have been stopping in here. But I still had August; still had another month of peak summertime vacationer; friends and people I'd come to look for each year, right?

But last night it hit me as I followed a usual Sunday evening routine for us, stopping on the way home to pick up a pizza for dinner; this IS it. My final summer in my own shop is approaching the end and I will likely never again be the captain of my own ship, so to speak. Today I'm doing the equivalent of curling up in a ball and trying to block everything out. While outside a gorgeous beach day unfolds, I'm sitting at the counter that used to be a deli counter icebox in a general store; a massive wooden beast of a fixture estimated to weigh upwards of a ton. The icebox sections on either side of the display case with very thick glass front and top, are lined with metal and have small drains in the bottom of them for the water to run out. It's to me a relic of another small business, perhaps several, which once upon a time used it in another shop. And it's one of the pieces I have to let go of.


I gave my 90 days notice to the landlord on Saturday but had not actually come face to face in conversation until yesterday. The exchange went as might have been expected but left me feeling more hollow when there seemed to be no sadness or regret hearing my news. What did I expect? A place I've poured money into for the last 19 years seemed uninterested that I'd be leaving - oh, there was a standard sort of comment about "you've been a tenant for a long time huh?", said in a distant tone of voice that seemed un-bothered.


But to me this goodbye is so much more, a statement that almost sounds trivial with the sadness I'm experiencing. Haunted by a feeling of unease the last day or two, this morning I finally narrowed down something that is causing me additional discomfort; confirmation of something I've suspected for a few years. Sure, sometimes having our thoughts proven or validated seems like a good thing, but in this case it almost laughs in my face because I saw and felt it previously and yet tried to ignore it. To be continued.....





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